Egg duet

Reflection after the public 301 presentation on the 6.6.2024 in HZT

14.06.2024

This free reflection was about the duet material and it was originally written in Spanish. Translated with the app translator dep

I prepared all semester a new practice for me. brought thanks to the invitation of Felix Ott my mentor and Sandra North. the idea of trying other things.

Here to get to the origin of my research led me to this physical connection with the egg. 

This material was the one I prepared the most. And always in the studio visits or body based practice shows with my colleagues, I always did much better with that interaction with the egg than in my rehearsals and than in the 6.6.2024 presentation.

A dance of risk. putting our relationship at risk. To put it at risk, and to put at risk also the space we share of intimacy with the audience.

It is a dance that tests our relationship every time it happens. It happens also in the eyes of the audience and in their breathing. 

An act of trust in the relationship (egg/me).

I have tried throughout this semester, to try to create the necessary external conditions in order to minimize as much as possible the probable damage. The risk of damage.

To reduce it until it does not move, but with the possibility of contact and interaction. With the possibility of movement. 

Find the balance between protecting and overprotecting. Between overprotecting and abandoning. Between movement without breaking, between my limit and the limit of the other body. 

Between caring for the other body and self-care. Between trust and attention.

There are a lot of tensions at stake. A serious game.

What I most wanted people to see was our duet. I prepared everything around it so it could be shared with other people. I prepared myself physically and mentally.

I have always known that the egg can break during this dance. Always.

I don't know exactly when. But I know that breaking is part of the relationship.

It reflects not only a rupture, but the loss of contact of my body with the egg's body. When it has broken it is because I have lost contact with the egg and it has fallen out.

What always surprised me was not that it broke, but the moment. Always real and unexpected. 

What happened on 6.6.2024 was terrifying and consequential at the same time.

Terrifying, because I did not understand why at the first very soft contact of the skin of my foot, with the shell of the egg, I did not understand why that very delicate touch, broke it so easily and quickly. Consistent because this has been something that this relationship teaches me:

The unpredictability, and uncontrollability of our interaction. Even though I had external conditions, floor, silence, softness. This time my touch was not enough to protect the egg from breaking.

There was something that broke before. And I didn't know it. I should have known. I was surprised. I know eggs have resistance to my gentle touch. But not this egg.

It broke before its time. Way before it should have. damn it. 

I could have taken another one, and persisted with showing our duet, which I had rehearsed so much. That maybe it would satisfy the public's expectations and my own. Show what I had prepared.

I did not take another egg. 

Not out of fear.

I knew not to take another egg.

Again: what is broken is broken. It is in my body. 

In this research I keep learning. that it is not about the performance but about what the process teaches me. Now I know I don't want to take another egg, to satisfy the idea of doing a duet where the planned thing works. 

I couldn't ignore that it broke even though we were in contact. Something is broken inside me too.

And despite that, our relationship continued. 

It was not destroyed. it was transformed. 

That's why this work is consistent with what happened on 6.6. 2024 in front of people. 

I will continue to take the risk, and in spite of everything I will try one more time: to reduce all the conditions of injury, hoping that one day it will not break.